Ucluelet residents who have grown accustomed toreceiving special favours at the post office will now have to do without, Tattler sources learned today. In a head-office crackdown, workers at the local branch will no longer be allowed to offer the little perks and courtesies they have commonly been offering.
“This is it!” said Regional Post Office Sub-Branch Oversight Specialist Thomas Frown by phone from Vancouver. “All those special favours you’ve been getting because you live in a small town … the mail redirection, the help wrapping parcels, the free-and-easy P.O. boxes, the buying of stamps when you’re a few pennies short, the looking up of postal codes, the courtesy stamp-licking … all that will be terminated as of today.”
A terse press release said, “The Ucluelet post office franchise has been getting away with murder in the customer service department, acquiring a coastwide reputation for friendliness and service beyond the call of duty. 
We are coming down hard on those responsible. This type of behaviour is simply not in the cards for a faceless, profit-driven private crown corporation.” The press release went on to say that, from now on, all customer transactions were to proceed “by the book” only. The picture abovet shows the current Canada Post rulebook being delivered to the Ukee post office.
Ucluelet post office personnel are being scheduled for intensive 6-week refresher courses in post office regulations, on a rotating basis over the next few months. Staff, looking grim, would only comment that according to regulation 21718.37.2(c) they were no longer allowed to comment.
