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Entries from July 2005

One more black spot on Ukee landscape

16 July, 2005 · 2 Comments

A largely anonymous consortium, Black Spot Developments, aims to plunk down the biggest hotel on the West Coast smack in the middle of the Big Beach viewscape. The behemoth will also force the Wild Pacific Trail to detour inland around one of its prime viewpoints.

Black Spot’s bizarre marketing launch, apparently focussed on everywhere in North America except Ucluelet, seems a pretty good indication of what they think of the town and its inhabitants.

Fortunately for Black Spot, they don’t need us for anything. Zoning for the monstrosity is already in place, thanks to some clever work by the original purchaser of the land before the town got savvy to the circus of horrors that is soon to be unleashed upon it.

Local reaction to the announcement has been mixed. Marine Drive resident Zeke Spranghorn was vociferously against any restrictions on the project. “Dang it, we aint’ Cummunists. A man should be able to build whatev’r he dang well wants on his own land.”

His neighbour, longtime local Alph Dranger, retorted, “That’s great, Zeke — I bin thinkin’ ’bout settin’ up a whorehouse, so I’m glad to hear you won’t mind living next door to it.”

“Oh yeah?” replied Zeke. “No greedhead developer’s gonna be raking no easy buck offa my back yard.”

“Why stop now?” Mr. Dranger said. “It’s become a Ukee tradition.”

Police broke up the subsequent discussion and nobody was hurt.

Residents’ concerns range widely from the precedent-setting visual pollution to the unsavory marketing campaign, to the undermining of the village’s proposed $4-million “community conference centre” by the Black Spot conference centre.

Unofficial — some say “truthful” — versions of the developer’s advertisement have appeared around town, as seen below. (Click for printable PDF — 465K).
Black Spot -- click for full size

Categories: Development

Whiskey Landing makes slugs look fast

9 July, 2005 · Leave a Comment

After years of plodding progress, the new Whiskey Landing development is now in line to become the slowest build-out in the history of Ucluelet. And in a town known for its deadbeat developers and their projects stalled at various unsightly stages of completion, that’s saying something.

The Whiskey Landing build-out time has now surpassed the embarrassingly endless Pacific Crescent ballfields construction (still uncompleted), and is closing in rapidly on Herr Adolf’s infamous pillage of the Big Beach lot.

The Westcoast Egyptology Institute of Research and Development, which held its Annual General Orgy at the Wickaninnish Inn recently, is keenly interested in the building process. WEIRD experts are comparing the Ukee effort to the construction of the Great Pyramid of Giza, which was constructed over 2,300 years ago by a force of 25,000 Egyptian slaves over a span of 125 years.

Strangely, the resemblance between the two projects seems to be growing, as the Whiskey Landing Whiskey Landingconstruction obliterates ever more of Ukee’s dwindling viewscape. (Aerial photo at left.)

With the recent layoffs at Wholey’s fishplant, Ukee’s supply of available slave labour has surged. Progress on the build is picking up, and the developers are now projecting completion in June, 2023.

Categories: Development