In a surprising turn of events, a grassroots environmental organization has sprung up within Ucluelet — but one with a peculiar Ukee twist.
Uclutians have always not seemed to care about what happens around them — except if it’s happening in their back yard, in which case they hate it. But until now they’ve never been formally organized about it.
Loosely patterned after the famous Friends of Clayoquot Sound, the new group is called the Folks who Don’t Give a Damn about Barkley Sound, or FDGDBS (pronounced “fuggeddaboudatshite”) for short.
Other green organizations have greeted the new group with mixed reactions. “I don’t believe I’ve ever seen an environmental group so single-minded, so united, so 100 percent behind its mandate,” enthused a member of Greenpeace International. “Yeah, but that mandate is complete apathy,” countered a Sierra Club of Canada press liaison.
The FDGDBS claims an active membership of hundreds — remarkable buy-in for a small town, according to spokeswoman Velvet Cactus. “Every week we hold a meeting at the Lodge,” she says, “and almost everyone shows up.”
Whereas most enviros actually lobby politicians and organize rallies to get their point across, the Ucluelet group so far has no plans for “any of that boring stuff,” Cactus said. Instead, the group is taking a uniquely Ukee approach at FDGDBS meetings: “sitting around drinking Lucky and bitching about how everything’s going to hell and somebody oughta do something about it.”
But drinking and whining aren’t the only things on the group’s agenda, as rampant, industrial-scale development looms ever closer to wreaking havoc on their town and the Barkley Sound watershed around them. They also advocate moaning, cursing and, in extreme cases, getting blotto. “Somebody once suggested we write a letter to council or something,” said Cactus, “but we put the squish on that pretty quick.”
Meanwhile, the remainder of Ucluelet’s citizens are taking a well-deserved breather from civic involvement. “We can rest easy on our award-winning OCP laurels,” said average housewife Chantal Shroompickin, “now that we’re in the hands of the Folks who Don’t Give a Damn about Barkley Sound.”
