An elite team of NASA scientists is approaching an understanding of Tofino’s pay parking plan, according to a spokesperson for the scientific agency.
“We’ve got two super-computers working round the clock on this one,” said Dr. Elvira Lovestrange, a rocket scientist with the famed space exploration agency. “We anticipate arriving at a preliminary understanding of the parking plan early next month.”
The plan, a perfect example of advanced committee-think, involves multiple zones, times and fees for different vehicles in different locations. When first announced, it was widely heralded as being the most complex scheme ever produced by humanity in all of recorded history.”The human genome project was nothing compared to this,” said Lovestrange. NASA is interested in the plan simply as a practical problem in complexity theory, which may have useful applications in future space station operations.
Meanwhile, residents of Ucluelet are organizing a betting pool based on public reaction to the Tofino parking plan. “Nobody, but nobody, likes pay parking,” said Ukee resident and pick-up truck aficionado Billy “Red-Leg” Frogg, who organized the pool. “It’s only a matter of time before those ticket dispensers get ripped out by the roots. We’ve got pools going on when that’ll happen, how high the unpaid ticket total will get, how many days before mass revolution in the streets begins, and which of the brainiacs on Tofino council, who approved the plan, will get tarred and feathered first.”
Tattler readers who wish to register their guesses on the matter can leave their comments below.
