‘Edge’ radio changes slogan

Ucluelet’s CIMM FM 99.5 The Edge radio has a new slogan, as a result of pressure from a top advertiser.

The old slogan — Playing what we’ve got — was a tongue-in-cheek reference to the station’s initially limited selection of music. The new slogan is fairly self-explanatory: Playing what they tell us.

The rewrite comes on the heels of a protest by advertiser Marine Drive Properties, an influential development company that has been remaking Ucluelet in its own image for several years. MDP was not impressed with the station’s infamous spoof ad campaign for WYNDANPEE, a fictional (we hope) real estate development sited on Hyphocus Island overlooking Ukee’s sewage lagoon.

Popular shlock jock Lance Blackwell had fun with the concept over several days, and then mysteriously pulled the spoof ads and issued an on-air apology. Rumour has it that a certain “name brand hotel” construction crew visited him late one night and suggested he might want to “terminate” the spoof ad campaign. Blackwell, no fool, complied at once.

The issue marks the death of yet another outlet of humour in a town growing grimmer by the day, as winter sets in and rampant development drives an increasing number of year-round residents out. It also provides further evidence that MDP is now able to call the shots for pretty much every outfit in town — up to and including town council, according to some pundits.

Still, locals remain puzzled as to why the regular Wyndansea ad now airs on the radio at least six times per hour, day and night. “Do they think anybody left in town can afford those million-dollar lots?” said one listener (who wished to remain anonymous) from her heavily mortgaged home. “Tourists don’t listen to the radio, so what are they trying to do? Brainwash the locals?”

“At least the WYNDANPEE thing was funny,” added another, suggesting that maybe the station’s new slogan should be All Wyndansea, all the time.

In the wake of the embarrassing cave, Edge radio has been extended an invitation to join the People In Mindless Prodevelopment Stance, or PIMPS, a group of mostly insiders who stand to benefit greatly from mass Ucluelet development. PIMPS is known for its knee-jerk approval of anything brought forward by developers, regardless of the social consequences. It was formed early this year in reaction to the CAVE people (Citizens Against Virtually Everything).

Blackwell has not yet announced whether he plans to join the PIMPS.

MDP installs new community rec facility

Marine Drive Properties, the Ucluelet developer responsible for the town’s skatepark and basketball court, has continued its tradition of creating recreation facilities for the community’s use.

The most recent addition to the rec roster is a large, rectangular paintball target recently erected in the Encon yard at the Junction.

The target range was built for Ukee’s growing number of paintball aficionados, to give them a leg up on their drive-by shooting skills. Ukee Shooters Association president Erik “Trigger” Heston said that “paintball competitions are starting to include a drive-by component, and until now we’ve had nowhere to practice.”

The target has two ranges: When travelling away from the Junction on Highway 4, the target is about 12 metres from the shooter’s truck window. When travelling toward the Junction, the range is about 16 metres. Players can also vary the difficulty by increasing the speed of the drive-by.

MDP said in a press release that it is delighted to be providing district youth with excellent recreation facilities as a byproduct of its comprehensive development plans for the district, adding that all Ukee shooters are welcome to blast away at the target, so long as it’s in a safe and discreet manner.