Getting your stuff in the Tattler

So you want to put your writing or pics in the Tattler? Excellent! Here are some pointers:

• It’s the Ukee Tattler, which means we’re all about Ucluelet. Tofino or regional stuff creeps in occasionally (when it has a local bearing or it’s too good to resist), but mostly our pieces centre on the goings-on of Ukee town.
• We’re a satirical rag. We don’t do long, windy political rants. We love it when you make a point, but you’ve got to do it in a humourous manner. One good joke goes farther than ten boring sermons.
• Keep your piece short. We may do some tinkering with it. Let us know if you want to see our version before it goes up on the site. For pictures, send at web resolution (72 or 94 dpi) — any file under about 100K should display well on-screen.
• Email your piece to us here. If you want to remain anonymous (small towns being what they are), send it from a made-up email account of your own. However you send it, we’ll publish under the name you tell us to use. We won’t give you away if you don’t want us to. Be aware, though, that unless you’re a pretty sophisticated online user, everything on the Internet is traceable. In fact, CSIS probably knows you’re reading this right now.
• We’re about fun, not about attacking local people or businesses that piss you off. We don’t do libel (attacking people’s character or business). We do love to deflate the pompous. We believe (against much of the evidence) that Ukee is big and quirky and confident enough to laugh at itself. We believe this ability enhances our stature in the world’s eyes. We believe modern life everywhere is full of ridiculous situations, and we love to point them out.
• We don’t use real people’s or business’s names unless they are truly okay with it, or unless they are public figures. So if you want to talk about the lousy service at, for example, your favourite coffee shop, don’t use the shop’s name. Make one up! It’s a small town — people will figure out what you’re getting at.

That’s about it. Any questions, email us at ukeefreeradio@graffiti.net. We’re not prompt, but we’re … well, we’re just not prompt.

—Hack Vertue, editor-in-briefs

Welcome to my blog….

At last, technology has found a way to keep up with the pace of absurdity on the West Coast. Updating the old Ukee Tattler website proved to be too arduous for our overworked and often stoned-out staff, so Tattler updates became less and less frequent, even as the flood of eye-rolling local events grew to a tsunami.

You can visit the old web site archive right here.

Now, with the advent of blogging (okay, so it’s been around for years — we’re not exactly early adopters here at the Tattler), comes a method for getting the truth as we see it to you, the people who hunger for it, in a much more efficient manner.

Ladies and gentlemen, THE REVOLUTION STARTS HERE. Again. Sorry about the screw-up last time around.

—Hack Vertue, editor-in-briefs